Love Love and more Love
We are on our fourth of six weeks of focusing on our inner selves to be the change we wish to see in the world. This week is all about self-love.
So here we are at self-love though it seems this should have been the place to start. Can we really accept ourselves or have compassion for ourselves if we don’t love ourselves? I don’t think we can. Can we feel love from another if we don’t feel love for ourselves? I don’t think we can. But love doesn’t wait in line. Love is not linear. Love can be spontaneous and it often is. Love is not directional. You can’t point love at a certain person or object. When we love we are open and interconnected, to ourselves, to other beings, to everything.
“When you adopt the viewpoint that there is nothing that exists that is not part of you, that there is no one who exists who is not part of you, that any judgment you make is self-judgment, that any criticism you level is self-criticism, you will wisely extend to yourself an unconditional love that will be the light of the world.” ~Harry Palmer
Love, in its true essence, is not containable. When we feel love then we are love and that radiates out. But what about when we aren’t feeling love? Whether you want to feel love for yourself, others, nature, or anything else, you can use the skills of self-acceptance and self-compassion to open up to love.
- So you aren’t feeling love? Begin by accepting what you are feeling.
- Next, give yourself some understanding. You don’t have to love all the time. Be kind to yourself for your lack of love.
- As you are accepting yourself and having compassion for yourself you have already begun loving yourself. Notice that love. Celebrate that love.
- Be aware of any judgments that come up. Maybe there is a voice in your head saying, “That isn’t real love.” or “That’s not the love I truly want”. “I am not loveable because of __________.” Be aware of these voices and accept them. Have compassion for them. In short, love them. Doing so will break down the walls you have built up that serve as a love barrier. As your inner bully tells you that you are unlovable, love her. As you judge yourself for putting on a few pounds, love yourself judgment, extra pounds and all.
- Love. Just love. When you see a spring flower blooming, love it. When someone holds the door open for you, love them. When you awake in the morning, say thank you and I love you. Love for yourself. Love for others. Love for everything. The answer is love.
Practice Self-Love
Close your eyes.
Take a slow deep breath. Know that with this breath and every breath you are taking in oxygen that is feeding all of the cells in your body. Notice the love of both giving and receiving with each breath.
Look in the mirror.
Look deep into your eyes. Look deeper into your eyes. Imagine a world behind those eyes: A world ready to be discovered, stories ready to be told, possibilities ready to be experienced. Look inside and see authentic emotion, big and true. Look inside and love.
Give yourself a gift.
Objects are not love but they can be tokens or symbols of love. Gift-giving is a gesture of love, especially when it is a thoughtful gift specifically for that person. Combine these two things for yourself. Give some thought to an object that you would be touched by. Then go out and acquire this object. Take the gift home and think loving thoughts about yourself as you prepare the gift. Finally, pick up the gift. Close your eyes and feel the weight of it in your hand. Feel the love. Feel the excitement to open your eyes even though you already know what it is. Open your eyes and receive the gift with an open heart. Bow in appreciation.
Practice gratitude.
Write down what you are grateful for each day. Noticing things and being grateful for the tiniest or most substantial things is one way that we love. After each one, acknowledge yourself for choosing gratitude.
Give yourself some affection.
Give yourself a hug. Kiss your hand slowly; feeling the breath from your nose on your skin. Caress the inside of your arm, your ear lobe, or anywhere else your body craves touch.
We are exploring and caring for our inner selves through gratitude. Six weeks of self-awareness, learning new skills and practicing them:
This is not a linear process each of these topics and practices will cycle back into the others. As we look at our inner selves we will find gratitude and it will help us accept, have compassion, love, care, and grow.
[su_quote cite=”Helen Keller”]The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.[/su_quote]
This Week’s Gratitude Question
[su_button url=”http://www.ourgratitudecollective.com/activity/” background=”#178fb3″]What are you grateful that you chose today?[/su_button]
My Gratitude Experience Last Week
What a beautiful experience it is to feel gratitude day after day. It is also a beautiful experience to share it. Right now I am taking a break from sharing my gratitude on facebook and I am taking full advantage of this website as my only social media. The website is small so it feels a lot more private sharing here. So far my gratitude hasn’t been any more juicy … but time will tell!
Forgotten Gratitude
Last week I was also grateful that I could learn so much while teaching others, again and again … I was grateful for green leaves where buds once were … I was grateful for my girlfriend being such a good listener on Saturday.
A New eCard
Image by Antonia Montoya
The Gratitude I Shared Last Week
[su_table]
| Sun | 4/5/2015 | I’m grateful for training our eyes on all of the beautiful wisteria everywhere we went today … I’m grateful for my parents wisteria well into its third decade and flaunting its first bloom this year, talk about a late bloomer … I’m grateful for feeling connected, communicating, kisses and neck nuzzles. |
| Sat | 4/4/2015 | I’m grateful for a pretty darn great Saturday and this moment if reflection that led me pause to enjoy the full moon glowing atop a blanket of clouds … The fragrance of lilacs in the chill of the night air … Being led to my perfect shade … Moments of presence to bring me in after the uneasiness … Sharing in a moment of creative brilliance. |
| Fri | 4/3/2015 | I’m grateful for a wonderful triple date night eating yumminess and playing a silly game … Just enough procrastination and action … Sweet fragrant lilacs healthy and full of life … I’m grateful for sleep. |
| Thu | 4/2/2015 | Hello dear collective. Thank you. For gathering here today. For believing in gratitude. For sharing your truth today. Today I’m grateful for a wonderful surprise lunch, celebrating my mom and for having the back room to ourselves so the kids could run amuck … I’m grateful for the lightness I felt today, I didn’t do taxes as I planned but the work I did was important and felt right … I’m grateful for an audio book helping me call out my resistance and be creative like a pro … I’m grateful for an icy cold car air conditioner just in time. |
| Wed | 4/1/2015 | I’m grateful for empty trash cans and clean folded clothes … The rising tide of strength-based approaches, possibilities and love … Being a passenger instead of a driver … Two quick laps, in the sun, just what my body and mind needed. |
| Tue | 3/31/2015 | I’m grateful for a powerful reminder to never text and drive thanks to Werner Herzog … I’m grateful for the aromatic mint and even the half-dead lavender, I hope it comes back to life … I’m grateful for learning from self-aware inspiring young men who speak from the heart, vulnerable and true. |
| Mon | 3/30/2015 | I’m grateful for getting away from screens to have some real quality time with my family to celebrate my sister, Maria … I’m grateful for Maria and her ability to be so present with us even though she always has so much going on being an OB-GYN doctor, being a mom with two kids and all that entails including shopping for and cooking healthy food, taking care of herself running and so much more. I have learned so much from her hard work and dedication and commitment to family … I’m grateful for the right lesson at the right time, once again … I’m grateful for being able to be gentle with myself. |
[/su_table] [su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can to. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]