When All Else Fails … Love Yourself
I want a vast ocean of energy. I want a warm bath that holds me like a loving mom. I want to be able to give more. I want to be able to help more without checking my balance of energy. I want to love like I have all the time in the world. I want to quit all of these things that are sapping my energy. I want to close off. I want to bury myself in bed with my love and ignore the knocks at the door. I want to do what I said I would do. I want my shoulders to melt with gentle touch. I want a new drug and gratitude isn’t working like it did before. I want to let go. These responsibilities are pulling me and I don’t have enough energy.
Then I remember … I can’t grasp for abundance. I can’t find these things outside of me. I know the answer. The well of abundance isn’t out there. It is within. I need to love myself.
I love myself as an after-thought. I love myself after I have been beating myself up like an abusive partner. I love myself when there is a tear falling from my cheek … like … right … now. I love myself pretty half-ass sometimes. But when I don’t have anything left to give I remember … oh yeah … I need to give to me. I need to love myself. But not like a list of things to do. But as the first task in everything I do.
So, yeah, sometimes I am not the best self-lover. But in this moment there is nothing more loving I can do than be honest. And love myself anyway.
November Nudge
Don’t forget … We are in the midst of our November Nudge: 30 Days of Unexpected Gratitude. Every day I am posting a new question on our website. Or you can sign up to receive the questions by email.
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Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
~Rumi
What are you grateful for about the way you love yourself?
LEARNING: Last week I shared my gratitude for my annual autumn ditch bank walk with my friend, Allisun. It was really interesting because before I went I was changing my shoes and I thought that I should tell Allisun I didn’t want to walk and we could instead relax and have tea or something. I stuck with the plan and we walked and it was so beautiful. We could stay inside and drink tea and time but we can’t always walk by fiery yellow trees with leaves falling to the ground as we watch. It reminded me of the importance in saying yes. Yes, yes, yes. Saying yes is another form of gratitude.
FORGOTTEN GRATITUDE: Last week I was also grateful for not being alone in the stressful work I am facing the last week and a half … I am grateful for piñon perfectly roasted and salted … Deep breaths that sink into my body and release.
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[su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can too. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]