Do you only pray at the end of a bad day?

One day I was doing a workshop on gratitude and sharing my tips for finding gratitude on shitty days. I cover this topic often because many people find this the most challenging. It is much more natural for them to find gratitude when things are going really well. After the talk a woman came up to me and said that she had the opposite problem. She said that for her gratitude has become associated with grief, pain and loss. Gratitude is what she turned to when she got her cancer diagnosis, when her husband left her, when she was consumed by loneliness when her kids went away to college. She said that she wants to create a new relationship with gratitude. She was ready to make gratitude the friend she calls to celebrate instead of the friend she calls in tears.

At first I was a surprised by her problem. Then I had a particularly shitty day and at the end of the day before I went to bed I prayed. I hadn’t prayed in that way for a really long time. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had said bedtime prayers. All of the sudden I could relate with the woman from my workshop.

Do you only pray at the end of a bad day? Are you only grateful for what you have when you lose something or someone you care about? Do you use a written gratitude practice as a crutch to get past a hurdle? You are not alone. Many of us are saved by gratitude in this way. That is how my daily gratitude practice started; it comforted me on a very bad day. The secret is to not stop the gratitude when the shitty days turn into great days. Instead of gratitude being your crutch, it can be like a wedding ring, something you choose to wear through good times and bad.

quoteToday was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
~Dr. Seuss

My name is Antonia Montoya, born, raised, and gratefully living in Albuquerque, NM. When we notice, appreciate, and share our gratitude it grows exponentially right before our very grateful eyes. I hope you will join our gratitude collective.



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